Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Mommy Daughter Day!

Yesterday I was kicked out of my apartment all day because they were taking out our old furnace and getting rid of the asbestos. From 9:00 to 5:00 I took Kiz out on the town (I'm still getting over the fact that I don't live in the boondocks anymore and a trip to town doesn't take half of the day) and it was lovely. What to do by yourself with your daughter? (albeit infant daughter)--wannabe shopping at Target! She just cooed and smiled as I looked through the racks of clothes and dollar bins that I can't afford. Never fear! The only purchases that I made were essentials like baby food and toothpaste.

Highlights of the day:

-Biting into a decadent piece of cheesecake that I ate with lunch in the car. Kizzie, as always, was trying to swat at it and drooling. What can I say? She's related to me!

-Hanging out at the library and browsing books.

-Cuddling with her in the truck while I read the latest Janet Evanovitch for two hours! (And she slept!)

-Just reveling in the fact that I had nothing to do and no particular place to go. Ahhhhhh.

While I was with Kizzie at Target, an old memory slammed me and I almost laughed. Lily was with me during this event, and she probably remembers. Many years ago when I was in the midst of my depression and hating my horrible job, Max had an early morning doctor's appointment and I took the morning off to take care of it. Afterwards, we hung out at the Sierra Vista Target for an hour until I had to get back. We were sitting in the food court area and were surrounded by gads of moms and their children. They were laughing, talking, some of them complaining about being stuck in the house all day, and I had this overwhelming irrational desire to slap them in the face and scream. WHY did they get to spend this leisurely morning in Target with their kids when I had to go to the devil job and pay someone to watch my baby? WHY did I have to miss out on precious hours of my son's life for no good reason? (except to feed my family, of course) Now don't get me wrong, I see the other side of the coin now, but at the time all of those silly moms represented what I really really wanted and couldn't have. Let me tell you it ACHED to return to my classroom that afternoon. In retrospect, I probably would have been sobbing at home with Max in my lap if given the opportunity to be a stay at home mom then. Whew...
And now I'm livin the "good" life. Chillin at Target with my girl. I've finally been given the answer to my prayers and I'm not in crazyland anymore so I can actually enjoy it. Cheers (diet Pepsi of course) to that!

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